Students speak out about what’s on their minds in 142 words, and you’re invited! If you have a random rant, email it to us. After all, complaining in a public forum is always more fun than doing it alone.
Microwavable burritos at the Forum. Adam Beals ’06 loves those things almost as much as life itself. Back in the golden age of last week they only cost 69 cents. During that time, Beals frolicked happy and free through Mac Field with the wind at his back and microwaveable goodness on his mind. However, one sad day something horrible happened. The sun in his life stopped shining. The forum had raised the price of microwavable burritos to a dollar and twenty-nine cents.
Now Adam Beals, destitute after this exorbitant price increase, wanders the streets of Grinnell at odd hours. Every morning when the Forum opens he stands in front of the case of microwaveable burritos and sheds one solitary tear. At closing time he usually tries microwaving an empty burrito wrapper, but it always comes back empty. Shame on you Forum. Shame.
—Nick Fogg ‘06
Everyone seems to think Grinnell’s increased applications has something to do with our ranking in Newsweek or US News and World Report. Peh! It’s obviously big time collegiate athletics. Our men’s basketball team has made national news in ESPN, and last week I got a phone call from an ardent fan in Georgia, who’d never even been to Iowa, let alone seen the team play. Now that’s publicity.
There’s statistical evidence for this, too; it’s called the Doug Flutie Principle; when Flutie threw the Hail Mary that let Boston College beat Miami in 1984, applications to BC skyrocketed the following year.
So let’s give credit where credit is due. Heck, story goes we’re even called the Harvard of the Midwest ‘cause our football team won the first game ever west of the Mississippi. Bet they didn’t tell your parents about that during prospie weekend.
—Joe Geni ‘05
Did you know that sometimes you can wake up and forget what day it is and then say shoot, I had a random rant and it was due at 10 this morning and well, it seems that my eyes are still a little blurry and I can’t really seem to type well and I have about 45 minutes till I have to go talk to someone about Seamus Heaney? I did. I just learned it right now. But its okay, because I got to sleep in overalls and had dreams about all the nice people I know, and woke up to KDIC and I’m going to go out on this beautifully foggy day and get some Forum coffee and think about “Funeral Rites” and say hello to smiling people. All I am saying is Grinnell is pretty cool even when you have to roll out of bed and throw yourself into it. And I’m going to miss it next semester. Its not Italy, but it is home.
—Emilia Garvey ‘06
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