Presidental candidate stumbles
In the park across the street from the Iowa Memorial Union, where Wesley Clark would speak yesterday, a group of Clark supporters had set up a table and began to gather for hours before the speech was scheduled to occur. They came from places as far as Oklahoma City to witness the first major stop on their candidate’s campaign. They described General Clark glowingly as “a real progressive and a real patriot.” He was “a breath of fresh air,” an outsider candidate with experience both in the military and in investment banking, which gave him security and economic credentials. One of them had been so devoted that he drove several hundred miles from his home in St. Louis to promote Clark’s candidacy in east Tennessee. They had all united in viewing Clark as an anti-war candidate who was “genuine and thoughtful.” After waiting months for General Clark to declare as candidacy as active members of the Draft Clark movement, they were excited that their candidate had finally started to campaign. They had believed in Clark’s candidacy long before Clark himself did.
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Comics conquer writer’s block
PBR, my trusty muse, has failed me. In light of this emergency I sought inspiration, as I often do, amongst the funny pages. I figured that the poor bastards who write comics must have developed some sly techniques for dealing with their daily deadlines. A common approach employed by many of the comic strips was the “Not Funny Technique (NFT).” In lieu of generating humor, these strips simply depict two characters talking until one of the characters gets exasperated and starts sweating, or yells “Garfield!” Bill Keane, the author of “The Family Circus,” however, takes NFT to new levels by NOT ACTUALLY WRITING HIS OWN COMIC! Genius! The “Family Circus” I saw was written by “Billy,” who I assume is some sort of lower primate Mr. Keane trained to be religious and not funny.
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Disturbed global carrier goes postal, then regains ground
Globes generally make me uncomfortable. Circumference leaves me circumspect and radii just looks weird. Globes in my elementary classrooms looked scary and their shimmying emaciated pallor reminded me of death. Prime Meridian sounds confusingly political. Saying longitude or latitude aloud makes me very uncomfortable. Not that global positioning rolls innocently off the tongue either. There were those leather jackets with inner linings all patterned in huge globe expanses. A walking geography quiz cheat sheet. The Globetrotters were always cool too.
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Advice-giving columnist eats worms
Wowzer! When I received the divine inspiration that told me to write this column, I had no idea it would turn out this well. Everyday, my mailboxes are stuffed full of your letters/e-mails. It seems everyone is curious about something. I have no idea how I’ll reply to the onslaught of questions I have received. Really, I’m not lying.
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Random Rants
Students speak out about what’s on their minds in 142 words, and you’re invited! If you have a random rant, email it to me at anderseb@grinnell.edu. After all, complaining in a public forum is always more fun than doing it alone.
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