One thousand monkeys
The world is full of questions and conundrums. Why is the sky blue? What’re hot dogs made of? Where was Atlantis? What happens after we die? Why is George Bush president? What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
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Totally sterling and cool as a caterpillar, scout’s honor
This summer I wanted to cash in my reality checks. Economically and occupationally depressed, I thought maybe if I took my bell jar full of disillusionment to the bank they might give me some money in return. They didn’t. So searching elsewhere for security and a sense of purpose, I considered designing a new build-it-yourself particle board furniture line. Being an undergraduate film extra. An urban hipster. That sort of thing. But from what I could gather, carpentry, corners and coolness in America are all overrated. All was lost. So I left.
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New year’s resolutions
My safety net is gone. No longer can I attribute my follies and missteps to first-year naïveté. I’ve got to be cool dammit! And confident! I’ve got to walk around campus like I know where I’m going and drop words like “trope,” “post-modernism” and “Jen Krohn” in casual conversation. To ensure a smooth transition into upper-classman awesomeness I’ve made a few resolutions for the upcoming year:
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