10 things to do before you graduate

Hell Week!!

by Jess Ward

10. Avoid emotional breakdowns at Waltz.

9. Avoid ex-boyfriends or girlfriends at Waltz. They increase the chances that aforementioned “emotional breakdowns” will occur.

8. Take some time to hang out with your firends. Over break you’ll realize you miss them while cursing the existence of most of your relatives.

7. Beer. Paper. Beer. Paper. Beer. Take-home. Beer. Paper. Beer. Presentation.

6. The bakery. It opens at 2 a.m. Perfect for procrastination breaks.

5. Take up speed reading.

4. Memorize the Stalker Guide. You’ve got nothing better to be doing, really.

3. Take the time to appreciate how good a cup of coffee tastes at 3:18 a.m.

2. Employ hired goons to write your paper. They’d probably do a better job.

1. Remember that work is sin—keep away as long as possible.