Kerry clarification
As the leader of Grinnell Students for Kerry, my normal response upon seeing letters to the editor that attack Senator Kerry is to respond in kind. The letter that Grant Woodard and I wrote defending Senator Kerry from an inaccurate attack by the Dean campaign seemed to provoke quite a reaction in the last issue of the S&B. Grant and I were just trying to truthfully outline the differences between Kerry’s liberalism and Dean’s conservatism but, to paraphrase Harry Truman, “we told the truth and the Dean campaign thought it was hell.” The campaign was so offended by our letter that one of the leaders of Students for Dean, Sechyi Laiu, published a letter in the S&B attacking Senator Kerry. Only is his attack was that Kerry was “a liberal” and “the candidate of the NAACP.” Sechyi’s “attack” on Sen. Kerry is accurate. John Kerry is liberal. John Kerry is “the candidate of the NAACP.” In fact, I would hope that any Democratic candidate would have the support of the oldest and most important civil rights organization in the United States. Maybe Sechyi thinks that being supported by the NAACP is negative. Maybe Sechyi thinks that there is something wrong with being a liberal. I don’t. But if he wishes to continue to advertise John Kerry as the liberal candidate of the NAACP, he should let me know. I’ll be more than glad to spread the word.
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Senators: quantity down, quality up
On Wednesday, Student Government will run campus-wide voting for student initiatives and constitutional reform. The initiative votes are a means of voicing mass student opinion on campus concerns. The constitutional amendment proposes a means of dramatically increasing Joint Board dynamics and effectiveness. Both are a critical part of self-governance and student representation.
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Misdirected environmental guilt
At least before the beginning of this semester, I knew when to feel guilty. I could be sure that when I accidentally printed off more copies than I needed or did not rinse out and recycle a milk carton or drove to some location that I could have easily walked to, I was harming Mother Earth. With this feeling of being at fault would also come opportunities to redeem myself through some grand tree-planting act or another and thus lessen the guilt.
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Two for the price of one
Everyone knows that first-year college students get lost on campus during their first semester at school. It’s even easy to become disoriented in the dining hall, waffling between the lines for the chicken parmesan and the build-your-own burrito, or apprehensively scanning the lunch tables, hoping for a familiar face across from whom to set your tray. But who ever heard of an 18-year-old kid getting lost between reading assignments?
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Geneva Initiative
I can usually handle unpleasant news concerning international politics with a decent amount of detachment and dispassionate objectivity, but I was absolutely infuriated at this week’s presentation and widespread international acceptance of the “Geneva Initiative,” a recently drafted Middle East “peace” plan. The co-authors are Yossi Beilin, an Israeli leftist peacenik politician, and Yasser Abed Rabbo, the ex-Minister of Propaganda for the PLO. Although the document ostensibly calls for an end to terrorism and the relinquishing of the “right of return” by the Palestinians, it goes on to focus mainly on both legitimizing “Palestinian” terrorism and anti-Semitism and delegitimizing the moral argument for the creation and continued existence of Israel. More specifically, the document legitimizes anti-Semitism when it calls for the dismantling of Jewish settlements in “Palestinian” territories, thus implying that being Jewish on a certain piece of land is somehow a provocation, let alone the fact that one province of the West Bank, Judea, is the region from which Judaism derives its name. Arabs who live in Israel do not need a security fence to protect them because, unlike in the “Palestinian” territories, in
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Baechtel will be missed
I was saddened to read on GrinnellPlans.com this week that Professor Mark Baechtel will not be returning to Grinnell next fall. Not only is he a wonderful professor and a great guy, he was the best writing instructor I ever had the pleasure of studying with. I understand that the professional life of higher education faculty is very uncertain until they receive tenure, but I believe Grinnell students are going to lose out with Professor’ Baechtel’s departure. Best of luck to you, Professor Baechtel! You will leave some big shoes to fill.
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Flaws in Azoulay’s breakdown
I am writing to take issue with Professor Azoulay’s guest column “Kerry Assumes Ignorance.” I was so struck by the flawed and deceptive nature of her arguments, that I felt compelled to write my first letter to the editor. In an attempt to paint Kerry as prejudiced and condescending, Azoulay first attacked the prefatory and parenthetical comment he made before answering a question on Africa that his wife was from Mozambique and had been forced to leave. Azoulay dove into a lengthy yet utterly hazy description of the Mozambique revolution and then blasted Kerry for supposedly assuming that nobody in the room would know as much about the situation as Azoulay apparently did.
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Speedbump man
As you’ve probably heard, RKO Speedprez pulls down a cool $480,000 a year, and his various endorsement deals and PGA tour winnings push this figure to nearly $90 million. These earnings may seem exorbitant, however, it’s important to keep in mind that the college pays me a biweekly sum of $25 just to produce incoherent columns that nobody reads. When I’m good and lush, I can compose a column in aboot 5 minutes which sets my wages at $300 per hour. My parents encouraged me to use this money to payoff my student loans, but I opted to spend half on bling and go swimming in the rest Scrooge McDuck-style.
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Excuse me while I push cards, limits
I just wrote a long complaint letter to the Halifax bank corporation. But it wasn’t satisfying. I’m not sure you can really understand just how unsatisfying it was. The writing process went far more quickly than any Grinnell paper I’ve ever written and yet even writing a 25-pager made due the Monday after Thanksgiving by a professor who has a 70 page paper due the day before the final exam and makes you get up at 3 a.m. to observe how the night air makes your 10 pound textbook glimmer would be more satisfying than this. Far more.
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Freaky wild rabid animal monkey-love sex and you
You know, I’m still looking like a bloated tick from that holiday we just had. My brain is currently occupied just trying to motivate my stomach to continue digesting. In lieu of this fact, I’m going to skip the usual witty banter and just get down to business.
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Random Rants
Students speak out about what’s on their minds in 142 words, and you’re invited! If you have a random rant, email it to me at anderseb@grinnell.edu. After all, complaining in a public forum is always more fun than doing it alone.
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