A day in the life

Andrew Wislocki '03

12 p.m. Wakes up. Contemplates the possibilities of the day while staring at the tree outside his window.

12:05 p.m. Falls down stairs en route to Quad. Extensive military training prevents any major injuries.

1:15 p.m. Reads at the Forum. Drinks heavily.

3 p.m. Works in Burling. (Sits and looks out the window.)

4 p.m. Works in front of Burling. (Sits on a bench and looks around.)

5:15 p.m. Plays with food in Quad. Sculpts Michelangelo’s “David” out of mashed potatoes and broccoli. Sells it to the highest bidder.

6:30 p.m. Plays video games.

7:30 p.m. Goes to the PEC. Wrestles Peter Rhee ’03 to the floor with one arm tied behind his back.

9 p.m. Checks email and Plans. Stares at the walls of his room blankly until someone walks by. Then pretends to be busy.

10 p.m. Chills. Has plastic Easter egg fight with neighbors. Experiments with Easter eggs filled with water. Very painful and wet.

10:45 p.m. Does a good deed.

11 p.m. Works. Jots down notes furiously.

12 a.m. Thinks about puppies.

12:30 a.m. Scratches head while deciphering furiously written notes as Radiohead’s “Backdrifts” plays repeatedly in the background.

1 a.m. Scrounges for food in Read 3rd lounge. Pretends to disseminate wise scheduling advice to first-years while lying on the floor. Giggles inwardly like a schoolgirl. Then goes back to his room and dresses like one.

1:30 a.m. Makes immature bodily-function noises.

1:40 a.m. Goes back to work.

2:30 a.m. Goes on bakery run. Buys day old goods for half price.

2:45 a.m. Works.

4 a.m. Writes Day in the Life. Has a nightcap.

4:15 a.m. Sweet, sweet sleep.