Daisy Chain
On February 7, 1934, the Parker Brothers’ “Monopoly” hit toy stores. The origin of the game is in doubt, but it seems likely to have evolved from “The Landlord’s Game,” patented in 1904 by a Quaker woman attempting to illustrate the evils of land speculation and the importance of property taxes. (The Radical Students Collective has a copy of “Class Struggle,” a more recent anti-capitalist take on the popular board game.)
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What about Bob’s?
Last night I went to the Forum, and every last table was full of students. Last week I went to Bobs, and it was just me and some bagel named Leslie. Why is this so? Why isn’t Bob’s the place to be anymore? I remember in my younger days, when I went to Bob’s for everything, from asking someone out, to dumping people. “Hey,” is what we would say in the old days, “you want to go to Bob’s?” Or, sometimes, “I’m going to Bob’s; want to come with?”
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Introduction to the future
In the future, everyone will be good at everything and everyone will smell like cinnamon and melted butter. There will be no more sorrow, no more violence; there will be no more despair. Pariahs will be stripped and coated with honey so that everyone will want to be near them, touch them, even kiss and lick them. Eventually, there will be no more pariahs, only honey-people. Yet still there will be no shortage of honey to put on biscuits or peanut butter sandwiches. Don’t worry: there is plenty of honey.
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Register here to run the world
To some degree or another, just about every person on this planet suffers from the same common syndrome. Some cases are quite minor, others more serious, and some even become fatal. I am, of course, speaking of the If Only I Ran The World Everything Would Function Perfectly Syndrome. Unfortunately, I think my own case has been getting worse as of late.
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Calendar crisis
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