Tying the knot

Married on Main Street

by Sara Millhouse

News Features Editor

On June 30, 2002, Clay and Amanda Collins were married in a small ceremony in Idyllwild, Cal. Amanda had recently graduated from Washington and Lee University in Virginia with a B.A. in English and a Psychology concentration. Clay had one year left at Grinnell.

The two now live in a Main Street apartment. Amanda works at the Poweshiek Mental Health Center, and Clay is finishing his Psychology degree.

Clay and Amanda became friends in high school in La Quinta, Cal. After graduation, Amanda went to England, and they lost contact. Eventually they began casually emailing each other. “One Christmas break I came home and decided that Clay was the best friend I’d ever had,” Amanda said. “I wanted it to stay that way.”

“That’s the way things happen in my life,” said Clay. “There are periods of long preparation, then times when things really happen. This relationship has been developing for a long time.” Clay and Amanda began dating and were engaged by March 2001.

“Most of my friends were excited,” said Clay. “They were not used to the idea of their peer being engaged at all. . . . It’s really unusual for a Grinnell College student to be married.”

They held a legal, “financial aid” wedding in Grinnell on April 18, 2002. “I was a dorm counselor, so my freshmen were so excited,” said Amanda. “They wrote little messages on my white board.”

For the Collins couple, some of the hardest parts of married life are the differing schedules and situations of two people at two different points in their life. “You’re caught in the middle. I’m married to a person with a nine to five job who wants to be in bed by 10 or 10:30, and my friends are in college,” Clay said. “Negotiating that balance can be hard.” He gets up early and tries to do all his homework during the day so he can spend time with Amanda when she’s off work in the evenings.

“There’s no social life for working people in their twenties,” said Amanda. “All my coworkers are older, and there’s a lot of college students who are about my age, but their schedules are so different.”

The Collins couple also had to adjust to the everyday aspects of living with another person, answering minor questions like whether to leave the toilet cover up or down. But married life also holds small advantages. “Amanda makes fresh bread every week,” said Clay.

“We have absolutely no regrets,” said Clay. “But if your parents won’t be pissed, you should live together for awhile before getting married.”

After graduation, Clay plans to enter a graduate program in Developmental Psychology at the University of Minnesota Twin Cities. Amanda may stay in Grinnell for a few additional months, finishing out a year of work. “Communication is the most important thing,” said Amanda. “It’s okay as long as you both know that eventually your dreams are similar, even if how you get to that place is different.”