<Back

Sindeworld

Never have I ever ...

Eric Sindewald '08

Have you ever gone up behind someone in Quad while they were putting up their tray, and thinking from behind that he was one of your friends, thought it would be a good idea to rudely tell him to hurry his ass up? And then as he bewilderedly turned around you noticed not only is he not your friend, he’s also the same person whose computer you accidentally shut off one time in the Younker computer lab last year at two in the morning?

Have you ever in excruciating detail explained to a friend all of the reasons you hate cats and think they all should drop down dead? And then your friend told you his cat died last week?

Have you ever gotten a particularly potent case of the giggles during convocation? And while the speaker was giving a moving speech about apartheid you had to force your tear-streamed face into you lap in a vain attempt to stifle said giggles? And your inappropriate laughter became so blatant that you left rather overtly before the speaker was finished?

Have you ever slipped on a patch of spilled apple juice in Cowles and slid arms flailing for several feet before smashing into the drink machine, dropping your plastic cup onto the floor with a deafening explosion? And then the guy who witnessed your lack of coordination gave you a little wink and promised he wouldn’t tell anyone about it if you didn’t?

Have you ever, after listening to friends talk about how some “rescue dogs” got arrested during 10/10, demanded to know how a dog could be sent to prison?

Have you ever in your Literary Analysis class told a really drawn out and irrelevant story about how Li’l Romeo went to your friend’s high school just to break up a painful silence during a class discussion? And when your professor politely asked you how your story pertained to that day’s reading, your inability to respond created an awkward silence far more painful then the original one you were attempting to combat?

Have you ever been cheering for a teammate during your home cross country meet by yelling the following right as she passed by: “GOOOO Hannah! Let’s go Hannah! Thatta girl, Hannah, just a bit more. Woooo Hannah!?” And she turned to you mid-stride and said: “I’m Becky?”

Have you ever started giggling uncontrollably (yet again) during your anthro class and then while “nonchalantly” excusing yourself to the other side of the room rammed into a chair?

And when your professor stopped lecture and requested to know what you were doing, you announced to the entire class that you were trying to remove yourself from the giggle-stimulus? And then as everyone stared at you, you wondered if this exchange would win you some much needed participation points?

Have you ever been so desperate for macaroni and cheese after the dining hall ran out that you solicited strangers for their uneaten portions? And then as you eagerly dug into their leftovers your immense lack of tact never crossed your mind?

Have you ever found your way onto the Dag email list, even though you have never attended a single Dag event, nor have any intention on doing so? And yet a year and a half later you’re still on it because whenever your mailbox runs dry you know you can count on a message from Gobi telling you to bring the foam swords you’ve never made and the armor you’ve never owned to Mac Field at 10 p.m.?

Have you ever walked into one of the dorm kitchens and on a whim just started playing with the knobs on the oven? And then on another whim you opened the oven and discovered that somebody was baking a chicken in there and that you had just shut off both the oven and the timer?

Have you ever been running sans clothing on an unseasonably warm day with some cross-country women on a farm road that was supposedly pretty deserted when a pick up truck carrying two teenaged boys drove by?

Have you ever had a nervous breakdown exacerbated by the recent loss of your Forum Grill shirt and ran up to your friend’s room to scream, curse, cry and throw things across the room in a fit of rage/sorrow? And distinctly shouted: “I HATE THIS PLACE!” just as a tour group consisting of a tour guide, a female prospie and her unsuspecting parents passed by the open door?

And then you unsuccessfully tried to assure the prospie that you are not in fact representative of the Grinnell student body and that she should really think about coming here?

Have you ever written a column highlighting some of your less than glamorous Grinnell moments? No? Yeah, me neither. I just thought I’d ask.

<Back