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Running up America's tab

One day, citizens will have to pay for Bush's wacky spending habits and it will not be pretty

I was eating a chimichanga when the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Mr. Pitzer, this is Donald from Visa Credit Card Service."

"Yes?"

"Our records indicate that you've surpassed your credit limit."

"Uh-oh."

"You need to put a check in the mail as soon as possible, sir."

"Uh, could you just extend my line of credit?"

"No sir, you have exceeded your credit allowance."

"But going into debt is the American way. Congress just raised the U.S. deficit cap to $9 trillion. They just did it, slapped each other on the backs and went for steaks. Can't you do that for me?"

"No, sir, you've maxed out your card."

"Donald, do you hate freedom?"

"Have a good day, sir."

Click

The waiter came by with the check. I opened my wallet and a moth flew out.

Boy, I've really done it this time. Nevertheless, I decided to tackle the problem head on. I did what any responsible American would do. I rolled up my sleeves, tugged at my boot straps and went straight home for a nap. The next morning, I called the debt professionals.

"White House, how may I help you?"

"Yes, I read in the paper that congress has raised the US debt limit four times in the last five years. How can I do that?"

"Why don't you just apply for another credit card?"

"Won't that just plunge me deeper in debt?

"Sure, but it will cover your butt for a while."

"That doesn't sound like a wise long-term solution."

"Cheer up, Bub. It works for us at the Bush administration. Take care, kid, and remember to keep smiling and keep buying. God Bless."

Concerned, I turned to my computer and conducted some intensive research for the better part of four minutes. I learned that since 2001, while I've been charging beer and burritos-the rest, I admit, I just frittered away-George Dubya Bush has increased the national debt from $5.7 trillion to $8.3 trillion. That equates to 2,093 Statues of Liberty constructed of pure gold. Now, that's some bling. And the interest on that loan? About $2.4 billion dollars a day. Other than a few college presidents, who's got money like that lying around?

Of course, much of the borrowed cash has gone for the Iraqi invasion. A recent Associated Press poll, however, indicates that 63 percent of Americans disagree about the way George Bush is handling the war.

The finding suggests that the majority of the country has a bit of buyer's remorse and that the remaining 37 percent of Americans may be missing major portions of their brains.

Despite the devastation, the tragic loss of life and the dwindling public support, Dubya clings like a barnacle to the mantra that all is well. He shoots us a smile, gives us the thumbs up and then spends money like a drunken cowboy on a Saturday night. A Pollyanna attitude is rarely a wise strategy. Just ask Tom Cruise.

Nevertheless, we elected him ? sort of. Consequently, we're stuck in this quagmire together, a quagmire we're likely to live in for many, many years to come. We are all responsible for providing the resources necessary to keep our soldiers safe and to attempt to re-stabilize the country, if such a complex solution is even obtainable. To meet these goals will cost billions, money we don't have and must borrow.

Frugality is not popular in America. As a nation we have about as much self-control as a one-eyed dog in a butcher shop. In fact, as consumers we spent more money than we earned last year, an event that hasn't occurred since 1933. But if we, as a nation, continue racking up debt at the current rate, there will be a day of reckoning.

Although unpopular, we must retire the tax cuts, begin to trim some popular domestic programs and investigate ways of attenuating the spiraling cost of the military. In the past big wars, Americans rationed petroleum and food and had paper and metal drives.

We too must be willing to sacrifice. Therefore, once election time cranks up and we're being promised more tax cuts, new highways and extensive prescription drug plans?-George Dubya was in Des Moines pitching his plan on Tuesday-just remember what my 87-year-old grandmother used to say: "Tough shit Chester." Obviously the debt is not the most pressing issue facing the country. But, it's interesting that no one is discussing it.

Back when Bush #1 was in office, everyone was screaming about it. We even had a squirrelly, squeaky-voiced Texan named Ross Perot pounding on pie charts, running for president on the platform that if we didn't get our ducks in a row we were on a one-way trip to bankruptcy (He received 19 million votes).

So, before we have to put up with the yelping of another Texan, we should begin to push for fiscal responsibility. While it's not yet time to panic, we should be talking about it. Otherwise we're going to have our creditors, not Donald from Visa, but Japan and China and a gaggle of other foreign financers, demanding we put a check in the mail as soon as possible, while our burritos get cold.

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