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R-E-S-P-E-C-T kicks b-u-t-t (and other initiatives)

Sindeworld

by Erin Sindewald '08

I decided to come to Grinnell because when my tour guide threw his body into the squishy abyss of the former bean bag room and scraped his hip so badly upon landing that he had to momentarily stop the tour, I got the impression that Grinnellians were pretty kick-ass individuals. When I arrived on campus last fall, this impression was confirmed (albeit no more beanbags. Sigh.). However, last week’s Student Initiative voting reminded me that there are still many ways to improve our generally kick-ass selves. Thus, I propose a few initiatives that were left off the ballot.

Initiative # One: Boycott High-school-esque Dining Hall Seating Arrangements.

It’s lunch time. You enter your less-frequented dining hall, pile some Jo-Jo wedges onto your plate, but as you go to sit down, your stomach drops as you realize the only person you recognize is that girl who might sit behind you in Philosophy. Rather than subject yourself to the uncomfortable act of plopping your tray down next to strangers, you retreat back to the salad bar and take an exceptionally long time redressing your salad until a recognizable face appears. Ah, relief! No more spending another lunch period pretending to read a book.

While it’s natural to want to eat with the same people all the time, I believe we’re all a bit old for the cliquish abomination that is high school and that much can be gained from branching out into unfamiliar territory.

So the next time you find yourself friendless, instead of adding a few more carrots to your spinach leaves, sit down with someone you don’t know and say: “Hi, my name is Fernando. I don’t believe we’ve met, but I couldn’t help but notice you’re eating Cinnamon Toast Crunch.” (Note: This line works best if you are, in fact, named Fernando, and if your new acquaintance is, in fact, eating CTC. Use your own discretion).

Initiative # Two: Boycott Feelings of Inferiority.

When you’re constantly surrounded by people who are fluent in four languages and who spent last summer teaching blind children to read, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking you suck when, in fact, you don’t. 

The next time your self-esteem takes a particularly steep dive, remove all your clothing, stand naked in front of your mirror and remind yourself that you’re good enough. That you’re intelligent. That you’re quite attractive. And that at times, you even emit a pleasant musk. Kind of like a thousand spring mornings coupled with cookies and fabric softener. (Note: Naked Affirmation works best when you lock your door. Also, waiting until your roommate leaves for class before you begin may prevent undue awkwardness.)

Finally, and dearest to my heart, is Initiative # Three: Increase the level of respect we demonstrate for one another and for this campus.

While I do love my fellow students, I fear that the negative behaviors of a few damage the Grinnellian image and quality of life. Every time chairs mysteriously disappear from computer labs and lounges, campus windows are broken and vandalized and an SA has to vacuum up a sea of vomit at two in the morning because the vomitee (vomiter? Vomiteer?) has failed to clean up his or her own mess, a little part of my Grinnellian spirit recedes into the gaping hole that once housed part of Noyce.

These acts of destruction may seem like inconsequential or even unavoidable aspects of college life. But I disagree.

I think we can do better.

When we vomit and run, SAs and FM are forced to mop (or vacuum) up our stomach stew. When we damage and steal campus property, innocent people get fined, and a resource or service we previously enjoyed disappears.  Not to mention the immense annoyance that results from your having only 3 minutes to get from Cowles to Mears Cottage, and knowing that the irresponsible behavior of a fellow student took one more campus bike out of rotation. Why should we settle for the troubling status quo? We are Grinnellians, after all.

And we’re also big girls and boys. So it’s time to grow up. We cannot go on acting as though the campus is a Little Mermaid coloring book, and we the permanent markers that my brother once used to black out Ariel’s eyes on every page.

If the desire to be immature so strikes you, you can giggle with friends about crotch bulges, or shave subliminal messages into your facial hair. But it is certainly possible to have a fantastic time without throwing bikes from loggias and damaging our home.

By enacting Initiative #3, I’ll be proud to know that when prospies are lured to Grinnell by the eccentric personality of a tour guide, they’ll become part of a community that not only exudes kick-ass-ness, but one that radiates respect and responsibility, as well. And that would kick a whole lotta ass.

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