After the sports doldrums that are February and early March, my favorite time of the year has arrived: the start of the baseball season. Not only does it mean that I will be spending an inordinate amount of time watching MLB.com's gamecast, but it also signals the end of other sports' seasons. The jostling atop the NBA's Western Conference leaves six teams within a couple games, but, as the actual playoffs seem to linger on longer than a Yao Ming foot injury and Golden State is currently on the outside looking in, I'll be turning elsewhere for my playoff action.
Unfortunately for the NHL--which has the most exciting playoffs of any sport--the first player to score 60 goals in over a decade, Alexander Ovechkin, may not even be in the postseason. When they signed AO to a contract that put Rick DiPietro to shame, the Capitals probably expected at least a playoff birth. But, as he has no Hot Sauce or The Professor to partner with, the team's success will have to wait.
Of course my favorite part of this time of year is the predictions made by every sports analyst on every network and website across the country regarding the upcoming baseball season. Sure, it's easy to watch Steve Phillips and laugh, but it is hard work coming up with predictions that time and time again fail to even come close to what happens in reality. I mean, I am terrible with making picks, but even I will sometimes stumble upon the right one. But to honor the legacy of Steve Phillips, I will share with you a couple of my own predictions that I hope can hold their own with the fifth-best general manager the Mets have ever had.
The Seattle Mariners and the New York Mets will play in what will be considered the second-greatest World Series of all time (number one, naturally, being 1991). With four one-run games and three pitchers' duels between fellow Venezuelans Johan Santana and King Felix, the home teams will win all the games, for only the fourth time in league history. Regrettably for the Mets, an Alex Gordon sac-fly off of Ian Snell will be the deciding factor in the All-Star game giving the AL home field advantage, and the Mariners their first World Series title.
As both Sports Illustrated and Phillips predicted the Tigers to win the World Series, it is only inevitable that ace Justin Verlander will hurt his arm slipping on a McDonald's bag at the home of teammate Miguel Cabrera. Cabrera will be so stricken with grief that he will, ironically, turn to the one thing that has always made him feel better: food. By the time the All-Star break rolls around, he will have grown to such immense proportions that he will be unable to leave his own house. Fortunately with the help a forklift, the same one used to carry in all the money from his new contract, he will be able to make it to the Tigers' final home game as the team still manages to finish second in the AL Central.
Finally, prognosticators all over the country will be astounded when the Seattle Mariners fail to win even 80 games, and in turn will try to silence the most notable source that accurately predicted their season: the PECOTA "computer." Amazingly, PECOTA becomes sentient and determines that the greatest threat to baseball is the very writers themselves. Luckily, a ragtag group led by Joe Morgan manages to save the baseball season and the world. In gratitude, the BBWAA allows Morgan to be the sole vote for all year-end awards, leading to your AL and NL MVPs being the same person: Dave Concepcion.
