And with one final resurrection of Purple Jesus, football season is over. Yes, I know that could have been said after the Super Bowl, but even though the Pro Bowl is the worst all-star game in all of sports, and God knows I won't watch it, it's still football dammit. Now we'll have to wait months for another game. At least this season was as entertaining as most, culminating in one of the greatest quarters in NFL history. The Giants, somehow prevailed against gigantic Jason Taylor robots (1) and Tiki's constant scorn (2), although undoubtedly aided by the fact that the Patriots had their hands wrapped so tightly around their throats, not even Ollie Jokinen's (3) skate blade could penetrate.
With the NCAA Tournament weeks away, and Steve Kerr doing his best to kill any hopes of the NBA being entertaining, there has to be something for the average sports fan to watch in order to pass the time. Fortunately, there is the Daytona 500 and the ensuing NASCAR season. Luckily for you, I am an elitist and look upon the average sports fan with nothing but contempt, so I have something better, something bigger: Hockey. No, seriously.
In the minds of many, hockey has been relegated to a second-tier sport, irreparably hurt by the lockout. I would disagree. In fact, for fans of hockey, I would say the lockout has been nothing but beneficial. The new cap system that has both a ceiling and a floor goes a long way to ensuring a competitive balance that this year alone sees the 3-9 seeds in the Western Conference within six points of one another.
Not to mention that hockey games are very exciting to watch in person. The speed of the game is breathtaking and it is infinitely easier to follow the puck, two things that become problems when simply watching on television, especially if the cameraman has an eye like Bryan Berard (4). Add this to the fact that the lockout pretty much killed off all bandwagon hockey fans, and the NHL starts to look more and more appetizing.
Unfortunately, the lockout didn't quite give me what I wanted--namely the disbanding of teams in cities that should have never had them in the first place (I'm looking at you Dallas)--but since then there has been a rise in more open, aggressive offensive play. It's not quite the ABA on ice, but what is?
Another reason the lockout has been beneficial is that hockey is no longer on ESPN. This may be detrimental to the league, but as a fan I am thrilled not to have to see "personalities" from the four-letter network needlessly hype a game to the point that I don't even want to watch it anymore. And, amazingly enough, ESPN's guys that do cover hockey (Barry Melrose, John Buccigross, etc.) are actually good at what they do, unlike analysts like Sean Salisbury or John Kruk, who make me wish Marian Hossa's stick would just go ahead and gouge out my eyes.
Along those same lines, announcing teams aren't nearly as insufferable as those in other sports. Sure, bad commentating means that Mose Schrute (5) methodically and hilariously dissects every Joe Morgan interview and telecast, but wouldn't you rather have genuinely talented booth guys that enhance your viewing experience? I know I would.
All I ask of you is that during this temporary period devoid of any really interesting sporting events you give hockey a chance. It's true that it's often on a channel you've never watched (for the record it's channel 55 here at Grinnell), but that doesn't make it unworthy of your time. If anything, having more/any readers that are hockey fans would give me license to make more D2: The Mighty Ducks references which would make me happier than Russ Tyler's brother when Kenny Wu pummels the Iceland goalie (6).
Jordan's obscure references explained by Chloe
1. NFL hyped London game with a ridiculous statue.
2. Former Giants player, now rips on them like woah.
3. Accidentally cut a foe's throat with his skate.
4. N.Y. Islanders hockey player, has an eye injury.
5. Seriously, you don't watch the Office? For shame.
6. I'd tell you to rent it, but I have the library's copy.
