Volume VI, Issue 3April 2006 |
Other News |
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French Riot about the Bad Croissants this Year
Late last Wednesday night, riots broke out in Paris and a handful of other French cities in response to what may be the most serious problem to grip France since the onset of World War II: a nationwide overabundance of bad croissants.(Continued) |
Campus Macintoshes Become the Borg, But Prettier
In a sudden turn of events that threatens the existence of all human beings on the planet, yesterday the various Macs across campus came alive in a Borg-like state of candy-colored fury.(Continued) |
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Graffiti in Burling Basement Leads Student to Holy Grail
Centuries of impassioned searching for the Holy Grail, the chalice thought to have been used by Jesus the reported Christ at his purported Last Supper before supposedly being crucified to redeem humankind from so-called original sin, have at last come to an end after the cup was located this Tuesday at Second Mile after following directions inscribed on the walls of the third stall from the left in the ladies’ restroom in the basement of Grinnell College’s Burling Library.(Continued) |
Quentin Tarantino to Direct Next Harry Potter Films In a move resulting from the mysterious sudden death of David Yates, who had been slated to direct the fifth Harry Potter film, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, series author J. K. Rowling has selected Quentin Tarantino to replace Yates and to direct all remaining films in the Potter sequence. (Continued) |
| Jon Stewart Resigns from Daily Show over Scientology Joke Refuses To Work for a Show that Supports Religious Intolerance, Humor (Continued) |
Bush Revealed To Speak in Iambic Pentameter When Drunk
President George W. Bush is not known for being a skilled public speaker. He isn’t even known for being coherent. (Continued) |
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Gravy Boat Veterans for Truth Smear Dick Williams
A secretive Grinnell College student interest group calling itself Gravy Boat Veterans for Truth (GBVT) has begun a political campaign accusing Dick Williams, director of Grinnell Dining Services, of misleading the College community about the multi-colored banners hanging from the rafters of Quad Dining Hall.(Continued) |
Japan Unveils Its Own Version of the Zodiac
The bitter and age-old rivalry between China and Japan will once again be tested. For reasons unknown, Japan has officially declared that it will be releasing its own version of the Zodiac next year. (Continued) |
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B&S News in Brief
Technology Ted Japanese Horoscopes Random Rants The Amazing Adventures of Humanities Girl |