Volume II, Issue 2
March, 2004
Volume II, Issue 2March, 2004 |
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Other News |
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Ironic-Minded Admissions Department Accepts More Fat Kids, Bullies
Reports out of the admissions office confirm the rumor that has been circulating campus for weeks: the admissions department has accepted much higher than usual percentages of fat kids and assholes, who like to make fun of fat kids, into the class of 2008. (Continued) |
Study finds March Madness to be More Dangerous than Pennant Fever
A study by MIT researchers published in this month’s New England Journal of Medicine has found that “March Madness” is at least three times more dangerous to the human body than “Pennant Fever.” (Continued) |
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Shit Out of Luck Students Denied SOL Acronym
“Typical,” exclaimed Mary Pondwater last Friday after SGA denied her “Shit Out of Luck” student group the acronym SOL.(Continued) |
Grinnell To Open Nation’s First Department of Hobo Studies
Grinnell is the only college in the country with railroad tracks running right through campus... (Continued) |
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First Year Enrolls in Class to “Get Women”, Regrets Enrolling In GDS Instead of GWS
At registration in January, Peter McEwing ’07 realized that he had only signed up for eight credits and had to find at least one more course to take this semester. “I figured I should take a class that would teach me useful life skills, like picking up women." (Continued) |
Ford "Freeloader” Fails to Capture Youth Market
“I drive better when I’ve had a few,” the floor model said...(Continued) |
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“Grammatically Incorrect”!
From the people who brought you The Bad Reading Contest and The Women of FAC. The B&S is proud to present it’s newest short-lived fad... (Continued) |
Super-Super-Super Senior Finally Awarded Tenure
It was a different world back in 1995 when Wisconsin native Adam Dupree arrived on campus for his first year of college...(Continued) |
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Critics Allege Gays Will Tear Down Institution of Marriage, Darby Gymnasium
Debate has been raging over the issue of civil unions and marriages for gays and lesbians, and some claim that increased recognition of gar rights has lead to the impending destruction of Darby Gym. (Continued) |
Bush Endorses Defense of Birthdays Amendment
The courts of Massachusetts have gotten involved. Tom Delay took time from corruptly redistricting Texas to stump for the amendment with fiery rhetoric. Democrats have been divided and today the President has thrown his support behind the proposed constitutional amendment to protect birthdays as sacred under federal law.(Continued) |
| B&S Explainer |
Wedge Antilles Fails to Meet Funding Threshold, Erstwhile Star Wars Hero Continues Search for Elusive SGA Pres
After garnering just under 3.5% of the total votes cast in last week’s SGA elections, Election Board has ruled that Wedge Antilles will not qualify for matching funds in 2005. (Continued) |