In a move that has been expected for weeks, the Senate today voted along party lines to give President George W. Bush the right of Prima Nocte. It is expected that the President will sign the bill some time over the weekend, and begin rearranging his schedule as necessary. (Continued)

Sales of "Tickle-Me Barbara Streisand" Stay Weak

The Tyco Corporation released disappointing sales figures for the "Tickle-Me Barbara Sreisand" doll this week. (Continued)

Late night QVC purchase defiles East Campus viewbook images.(Continued)

As she skies down the mountain, she is a majestic image of graceful movement and subtle undulations. And then, a Wells Fargo Bank tumbles over from the side of the slope directly onto the erstwhile athlete. (Continued)

First-year student Dan Wyckoff is an affable guy. Yet, within his first few days at Grinnell, he has found his college nemesis. That nemesis is the door to the Physical Education Complex. (Continued)

After months of permit applications and specialty renovations, local businessman Phil Craigger announced today that Maple Stirrup his combination 24-hour pancake house/ Gynecologist Office, will be set to open late next week. Said Craigger, "It's been a long, hard road, but I am sure that the city of Grinnell will be pleased with the outcome..." (Continued)

The White House was rocked last week by shocking allegations of a high-level, illegal leak of a CIA operative's identity and the musical stylings of Eddie Vedder and the rest of the band Pearl Jam. (Continued)

Members of the Grinnell College Book Burning Club appeared before Joint-Board this week to request additional funding for repairs to the group's specialty oven. (Continued)

On the heels of suing Al Franken over his use of the slogan "Fair and Balanced," Fox News (tm) returned to the courtroom this week. (Continued)